“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”
- Brene Brown
Some people see vulnerability as weakness. Vulnerabilty such as admitting they made a mistake , or sharing parts of themselves with others they have kept to themselves for a long time out of feelings of shame or guilt. I believe there is great power in vulnerability and that we can express it without being needy or desperate, and that through giving ourselves permission to be vulnerable we allow for the awesomeness of life that we have yearned for deeply.
People have great visions for their life, the work they want to do, the relationships they want to enjoy, the recreational life of their calling, and yet they are unable to achieve or create them due to a lack of vulnerability. The creation of their happiness depends upon the releasing of their shames and guilts, but because they judge themselves for it, they are not open to the possibility that someone else has an understanding and compassion for them. You can do all the visualising, affirmations, and meditation that you like, but if something comes up that needs to be healed, it needs to be addressed, not stuffed back down. We manifest our desires when we are in vibrational alignment with them, and shame and guilt feelings are not in alignment with our happiness.
“There can be no vulnerability without risk; there can be no community without vulnerability; there can be no peace, and ultimately no life, without community.”
- M Scott Peck
If you have opened up to new relationships in your life recently, then you will be called at points to be vulnerable. Through this process we will be vulnerable to the possibility of being hurt once more, vulnerable to the possibility of being wrong, vulnerable to showing our emotions to another who can support and help us.
You may not be hurt in the relationship you are about to step into, but you may be, and you may be carrying with you the energy of previous pain from relationships. But when you allow yourself to be vulnerable, you also open up to the joy, the love, and the peace of mind that you would not otherwise have allowed yourself to feel.
I have been blessed to witness the vulnerable sides of hundreds of one-on-one coaching clients over the last 5 years, people who have allowed themselves to be vulnerable and have improved their lives as a result of it. They have shared their fears, and transcended them with grace and faith, and are living in greater happiness, moving towards their dreams.
We need to find a safe, compassionate person with whom to share our deep wounds. My deepest healings have come through finding a safe place to reveal my shames and guilts. And it does need to be a safe place. We reveal our unhealed shadow side or flaws to the wrong person and they can use it against us in times of differences. We reveal it to a compassionate, understanding person, who has been through or understands our situation, then we allow for healing to occur. This is where the power of healing lies in our hands and what makes vulnerability powerful. Without that vulnerability we do not actually end up stepping into our power, we dance around the source of it. The dysfunctionally independent person will find it very challenging to heal those shames.
Every time we write a blog, a book, share our thoughts and opinions on facebook, we are being vulnerable. I remember the first time that I was writing a blog article, and had it ready to send, it took everything within me to hit the send button. We are vulnerable to criticism and judgement from others. Now I am writing a novel which I know will reveal aspects of myself that some have never seen before, and could possibly open myself up to all new possibilities, and believe me the conditioned ego does not always create the best possibilities. But I am holding the space for joy and love in my new endeavours. You will be vulnerable when you share the gifts you possess that you have hidden for a long time.
The more I tried to run away from my story, the more the unconscious vibrations would continue to attract into my life more of what I didn’t want. When we face our shadow with courage, and shine the light, we change our vibrations, and allow ourselves to attract the guidance, support and love we need to fulfill our purpose. I still continue to find myself facing challenges, and sometimes painful situations, but I am also feeling much more authentic happiness in my life with a loving relationship that is greater than any I have experienced to date, as it aligns with the deepest parts of me. I trust myself more than I ever have, and have attracted a relationship which mirrors this.
What areas of your life are calling for a deeper sense of vulnerability? Who can support you through the challenges you are facing at this time?
Your ego will tell you that all that awaits is pain and humiliation, but if grace had a voice it would tell you that your hearts desires lie just beyond the moments of great vulnerability.
“I understand now that the vulnerability I’ve always felt is the greatest strength a person can have. You can’t experience life without feeling life. What I’ve learned is that being vulnerable to somebody you love is not a weakness, it’s a strength.”
- Elizabeth Shue