Matthew Ashdown Coaching

Great Expectations

Posted on 01. Mar, 2011 by matthew in Blog

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What are you expecting from yourself in school? What do you think your parents are expecting from you?

For many young people the fear is of letting parents or teachers down.

When I was 16 I came from school with my exam results. I had scored 5 A’s, 5 B’s and a C. I was feeling pretty good about myself. I showed it to my mum.

“What was the C in?” was the only thing I remember her saying.

My stomach dropped. I interpreted it as , “Mum is not happy with my results”. Suddenly I was not happy with my results anymore. All my hard work, and the other good grades meant nothing to me anymore.

That is the first moment I can recall where I created great expectations for myself. Mum never knew how that comment would affect me, and I cannot blame her for anything, because I chose to take on the high expectation of myself.

A few years later I was applying to college. I thought that I would make my grandfather  (one of my hero’s) proud, by going to Cambridge University. I got rejected. I was really disappointed and felt that I had let many people down. In reality I was the one who was most disappointed.

My life steadily got more challenging as I set higher and higher expectation’s for myself and wound up becoming more unhappy with each passing moment.

When you are following the direction in life that you want to go in you will likely end up disappointing someone that you love. If you feel from the bottom of your heart that it is the right direction for you, remind yourself. The affirmation I say to myself when others are disappointed and I know that I am on the right path is “I love and approve of myself.”

Acknowledge yourself for the work you do. Know that others may not acknowledge you in the same way. The way you work and serve the world matters.

Acknowledge how much you have worked for your grades, even if they are not what you or others expected of you.

Go for your goals. Choose to be happy about the small things in life. This is why gratitude is such an awesome attitude to embrace. You will find it takes far less to make you happy. Be grateful for all the little things in life and watch your life become more beautiful as you look at it in different ways.

The big challenge I had with the movie “The Secret” was that it was saying that if people are grateful for what they have they will attract more of what they want. Alot of people then wrote gratitude lists because it meant they would attract their dreams. They had expectations around it. I choose to feel grateful because it feels good, it connects me to the source of who I am. That is all I need.

Expect success, but let go of how you think it should look. Destiny probably has a far greater dream for you in store than you could ever imagine.

If you are struggling with other people’s expextation’s of you, or your own high expectation’s of yourself, then I would love to recommend a free coaching session with me. There are no strings attached. I would love to help you out. If you decide to join in
for further coaching sessions that is great, but there will be no sales pitch in this.

If you are a teen under 18, please get your parents to contact me about coaching.

Contact me at matthewmashdown@gmail.com

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