Matthew Ashdown Coaching

Become A Better Promoter By Becoming More Self-Aware

Posted on 13. Jul, 2012 by matthew in Author's Quest Blogs

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Usually I want to provide you with concise actions steps and tips that will help you become a better promoter, but today I am speaking with you about something that is much more fluid, and will have a great affect on your ability to promote. Without changing your inner world, the thoughts and feelings you choose to experience on a daily basis, you cannot begin to change the experiences you have in the outer world.  

“By becoming self-aware, you gain ownership of reality; in becoming real, you become the master of both inner and outer life.”

                                                                                        - Deepak Chopra  

When we hold on to old stories of betrayal or let downs from others, we limit our ability to accept abundance and prosperity in the present moment. Maybe, like me, you have already had a not-so-fun experience in the world of publishing, and are stuck in resentment or blame. When I worked at a self-publishing company I would often hear nightmare stories about authors’ previous experiences with other companies. There was still lots of energy around it, even though it happened a while ago, and it was affecting their ability to fully trust me and to create a new experience for themselves the second time around.

Your inner world is the creator of your outer world, so as long as you hold those stories of blame and failure, you will carry it forth into your next adventure. It does not seem necessary to everyone that forgiveness and letting go would affect your ability to make sales, but I can tell you without a doubt in my mind that it does. You do not have control over what others do to you, but you do have a choice as to how you can respond to it.

When I lost a publishing contract with a major publishing company a few years ago I was devastated. It caused me to ask many questions of myself, but also of the industry too. Though I knew that blame was useless, I found it difficult at time to accept responsibility for my piece in the puzzle.

After the loss of the contract I went into a deep debt. It would have been easy for me to continue to blame others for my lot, as it seemed that it was all really out of my control. But, there were some things that were in my control, and I had not been honouring them. I needed to look deep and take responsibility for what I had been focused on within myself. I grew up with the story that debt is bad, and so I came to fear it, and in time I came to create it. There were forces that were outside of my control, but the fears that I held on to were not outside of my control. I was beating myself up for having got into debt, instead of forgiving myself and loving myself so that I could move on. As I took the steps to face the painful thoughts and feelings I was holding on to, things began to change in my outer world.

Self-sabotage comes about when we have unconscious fears that we have not acknowledged in ourselves, or we have stuffed down. And so often we end up bringing about those things that we fear by staying focused upon them. If you fear public speaking, it could be stopping you from sending out press releases, because it may mean that you get asked to do a talk, and that is something you fear.

If, like I did, you fear getting into debt, you could find yourself criticising the costs of different companies out there, when in fact you need to own your real fear, so that you can change it. Fear immobilizes us, and staying focused on them will only increase the likelihood of bringing them about. In these times of great changes within the industry, when many large corporations are being challenged to the very core with their own fears, it is important that we find ways to remain centred and to be fully aware of our fears so that we can transcend them with courage.  

When we voice our fears, either to ourselves or others, we are able to begin to shift things around. Until that point the fears can be stopping us from taking the actions that we need to take. Share your fears with a coach who has transcended them, here is a great one  :) , so that they can guide you beyond them, or simply write them on paper, and you can begin to make changes.

Work becomes a lot harder when we do not take responsibility for what we are feeling, especially our fears. They create an undercurrent in all that we do, and will prevent us from manifesting that which we want to manifest. When we take responsibility for them, and do the inner work to change things around, we can begin to move forward on our publishing adventures with greater ease.

Meditate. It is through meditation that I have become aware of the thought patterns that hold me back, and that I am able to do things about it. The opposite of fear is love. So you can be focused on your fears, or you can make a choice to stay connected to love within your being.

A little different from previous blogs, but you need to know the value of the work you do within yourself to let go of the past and step into the now. Be clear, centred, and results orientated instead of projecting your old blames, fears and doubts on to others throughout your day.   

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